Thursday, July 07, 2005

Movie Review a la Howard Cosell: Troy

Seventeen minutes into Troy, and I'm already highly annoyed.

It's all about the love of one man for one woman, is it? That is why a war was fought?

No. Not to belittle the love between a man and a woman, but wars are opportunities. Wars are chances on a roulette wheel, and if you win, you get power and territory and a good life for your relatives. And, if you win, the people who helped you fight the war have stronger ties to you, because they profit; so they owe you. And you owe them.

That is how dynasties are created. A "dynasty", after all, is just a fancy name for a gang. A gang that won.

Around 1,300 BC, when something like the Trojan War may have been fought, a global population explosion dictated that gangs of marauding men were jockeying for position in the lands surrounding the Mediterranean Sea. We're talking about groups of 500 or 1000 men whose career options in life are: be a rich noble, be a soldier fighting for rich nobles, or be a slave. Merchants were few, and they were never sure of how their day was going to go, because they lived at the pleasure of those with power, and they were effectively slaves themselves. If they displeased those in power, there was no court of appeal, no ombudsman, no binding arbitration. You have made Biff mad, so Biff has to make an example of you.

The idea that old fat men with English accents sat around pompously bellowing in Received Pronunciation about "my best man will fight your best man, and whoever wins will turn his army around and walk away" is bogus. Armies don't turn and walk away in 1,300 BC. (They really don't now, either.) They need their paycheck, and in 1,300 BC, their paycheck consists of whatever they can scam or beat out of the people through whose land they shuffle, keeping their mental eyes on the potential prize to be gained.

People who go to Medieval Times to revel in the atmosphere, pounding their flagons on the table and eating large legs of turkey or whatever, usually have no clue of how bad it actually was for most people in the world between the dawn of agriculture/slavery (they are the same) and the latter half of the twentieth century. That's twelve thousand years of hell and slavery, folks.

So the pretty girl may even have actually existed. But it wasn't her face that launched a thousand ships: it was the need for more slaves and land in an ever-shrinking economy, in which all the good places to farm or to control nautical trade were already taken.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I just came across your blog about virtual roulette and wanted to drop you a note telling you how impressed I was with the information you have posted here. I also have a web site & blog about virtual roulette so I know I'm talking about when I say your site is top-notch! Keep up the great work, you are providing a great resource on the Internet here!"

11:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey guys, great blog ! Here is my latest finding about play roulette wheel casino, you will find play roulette wheel casino to enjoy ! Cheers, Martin

12:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Patrick, guess what, I just saw a Live Roulette to test our systems and about planche roulette.
It has been a long time waiting for planche roulette.
Test your systems with a real roulette wheel and it's FREE ! Bye, Larry

7:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


I have an online roulette site with some original articles related to internet roulette that your blog readers may find interesting - here's a sample article:

How to Beat Roulette with A Simple 3 Point System
Many players try to beat roulette by buying a "sure fire" roulette system for money. These systems promise consistent gains and to make the buyer ...

internet roulette


11:22 AM  
Anonymous Roulette Guy said...

Hi there, You have an interesting blogs.
you can visit my site at to learn about online roulette. Find interesting roulette breakthrough on online roulette at online roulette

2:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Looking for information and found it at this great site... Cheap calls from taiwan Buy phendimetrazine ship worldwide Dopamine and celexa Peugeot 406 estate workshop manual downloads

3:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's a great story. Waiting for more. » » »

4:36 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home